Collection of Ideas From A Random Mind
by 98Shaddowolff98
Summary: A collection of all the story ideas I'm too scared to make into actual stories. They will be mostly AU's and crack!fics and there will be a different one each chapter. Featuring mainly Sherlock and John but others may make an appearance. Please, no flames


**A/N:** **Well...lets just say I write down all my ideas and number them. Lets say that the ideas bug me so much that if I don't write them down soon, I'll explode. And lets just say these ideas are crazy, insane and really, really weird. (Which is why I haven't actually made stories out of them yet.) And lets just say that I don't consider them (At least, most of them**) **to be crack. The solution? To write them down in one story, with the implicit warning that these stories are mostly AU's and they are very weird/strange/odd/not normal. They will probably all be rather long, too, which means that this will probably not get updated very often. Like once every 3 months. Rant ends...here.**

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Sherlock. If I did, I wouldn't make people wait so long for three episodes. Also, I wouldn't be typing this. I am not Moffat or Gatiss and I also don't own any of these songs or the lyrics. I don't own anything. (But I'm working on kidnapping Sherlock...)**  
><strong>

Idea 5

This one is a crackfic people. No, it's not realistically written AT ALL. Yes, it's weird. Please excuse any swear words etc., I tried to choose songs that weren't too bad.

"John has a strange power. Whenever he feels strongly about something, be it jealousy, love, hate, irritation or anything, all background noise ceases for 5 seconds before the opening strains of the song starts. And John Watson? He...sings."

* * *

><p>John Watson had a strange way of voicing his emotions.<p>

The first time it happened, he was 6.

He was at his best friend Andy's birthday party and had had way too much sugar.

All of the other kids were running around playing chasing's and such, but after a while something in little John Watson simply...snapped.

The parents would talk later of the odd occurrence, try and rationalize how it had happened.

They never did figure it out, but what happened was:

Everything suddenly went silent. The birds had stopped, talking had ceased and every eye was now on John, whose eyes that were a very clear ocean blue was now a sparkling golden yellow.

He was also standing stock still, as if turned to stone.

It was precisely 5 seconds before he exploded in a sugar induced glee.

_**The Llama Song**_

_Here's a llama_  
><em>There's a llama<em>  
><em>And another little llama<em>  
><em>Fuzzy llama<em>  
><em>Funny llama<em>  
><em>Llama llama<em>  
><em>Duck<em>

_Llama llama_  
><em>Cheesecake<em>  
><em>Llama<em>  
><em>Tablet<em>  
><em>Brick<em>  
><em>Potato<em>  
><em>Llama<em>  
><em>Llama llama<em>  
><em>Mushroom<em>  
><em>Llama<em>  
><em>Llama llama<em>  
><em>Duck<em>

_I was once a treehouse_  
><em>I lived in a cake<em>  
><em>But I never saw the way<em>  
><em>The orange slayed the rake<em>  
><em>I was only three years dead<em>  
><em>But it told a tale<em>  
><em>And now listen, little child<em>  
><em>To the safety rail<em>

_Did you ever see a llama_  
><em>Kiss a llama<em>  
><em>On the llama<em>  
><em>Llama's llama<em>  
><em>Tastes of llama<em>  
><em>Llama llama<em>  
><em>Duck<em>

_Half a llama_  
><em>Twice the llama<em>  
><em>not a llama<em>  
><em>Farmer<em>  
><em>Llama<em>  
><em>Llama in a car<em>  
><em>Alarm a llama<em>  
><em>Llama<em>  
><em>Duck<em>

_Is THIS how it's told now?_  
><em>Is it all so old?<em>  
><em>Is it made of lemon juice?<em>  
><em>Doorknob<em>  
><em>Ankle<em>  
><em>Cold<em>  
><em>Now my song is getting thin<em>  
><em>I've run out of luck<em>  
><em>Time for me to retire now<em>  
><em>And become a duck<em>

Whilst he had been singing this song, John had been running around like a maniac, but upon the end of the song suddenly fainted and lay twitching on the ground.

The parents were...shocked to say the least. Both at the outburst and the fact that John was on the ground, unconscious.

The children thought it was _awesome!_

When John woke, he had no recollection of what had happened. The last thing he could remember was playing tag with his friends.

* * *

><p>The second time it happened, John was 14.<p>

Her name was Annie. And she was the _most_ beautiful girl he had ever seen.

Even though he had seen her plenty of times before, for some reason this time he saw her, she looked totally different.

He was totally and utterly smitten.

Unfortunately, John 'power' decided to make itself known in lieu of the strange strong feeling coursing through him.

For five seconds the street suddenly was absolutely silent.

Annie had turned around and was staring at John, whose eye's were golden yellow.

The beginning of the song began.

**Hey Baby (If you'll be my girl) - DJ Otzi  
><strong>

_Okay Señoritas y caballeros, and Ladies and gentlemen._  
><em> Okay Put your hands up in the air, put your heads in the air, everybody sing now!<em>

_ uno dos tres cuatro_

_ Hey, Hey Baby_  
><em> (ooh aah)<em>  
><em> I wanna know (oh ooh)<em>  
><em> if you'll be my girl<em>

_ Hey, Hey Baby_  
><em> (ooh aah)<em>  
><em> I wanna know (oh ooh)<em>  
><em> if you'll be my girl<em>

_ When I saw you walking down the street_  
><em> I said thats the kind of girl I'd like to meet<em>  
><em> She's so pretty, looks so fine<em>  
><em> I'm gonna make her mine - all mine<em>

_ Hey, Hey Baby_  
><em> (ooh aah)<em>  
><em> I wanna know (oh ooh)<em>  
><em> If you'll be my girl<em>

_ Come on, everybody in the house!_

_ Hey, Hey Baby_  
><em> (ooh aah)<em>  
><em> I wanna know (oh ooh)<em>  
><em> If you'll be my girl<em>

_ When you turn and walk away_  
><em> thats when I want to say<em>  
><em> come on baby give me a whirl<em>  
><em> I wanna know, I wanna know<em>

_ When you turn and walk away_  
><em> thats when I want to say<em>  
><em> come on baby give me a whirl<em>  
><em> I wanna know if you'll be my girl<em>

_ Hey, Hey Baby_  
><em> (ooh aah)<em>  
><em> I wanna know (oh ooh)<em>  
><em> If you'll be my girl<em>

_ Come On Now_

_ Hey, Hey Baby_  
><em> (ooh aah)<em>  
><em> I wanna know (oh ooh)<em>  
><em> If you'll be my girl<em>

_ Everybody Now!_

_ Hey, Hey Baby_  
><em> (ooh aah)<em>  
><em> I wanna know (oh ooh)<em>  
><em> If you'll be my girl<em>

_ and now it's party time!_

_ Hey, Hey Baby_  
><em> (ooh aah)<em>  
><em> I wanna know (oh ooh)<em>  
><em> If you'll be my girl<em>

_ Hey, Hey Baby_  
><em> (ooh aah)<em>  
><em> I wanna know (oh ooh)<em>  
><em> If you'll be my girl<em>

_ Hey, Hey Baby_  
><em> (ooh aah)<em>  
><em> I wanna know (oh ooh)<em>  
><em> If you'll be my girl<em>

_ Hey, Hey Baby_  
><em> (ooh aah)<em>  
><em> I wanna know (oh ooh)<em>  
><em> If you'll be my girl...<em>

John Watson fainted.

Annie walked away very calmly and slowly, telling herself not to panic, that creepy stalkers would only get worse if you noticed them...

* * *

><p>The day Harriet Watson walked out on her family was awful.<p>

Her parents had by no means tried to understand why she had come out to them and had disowned her.

Naturally, this affected John since he had a rather considerable friendship and comradeship with his sister.

He was already angry to begin with, but when his parents told him that if he attempted to contact Harry in any way they would kick him out it broke the proverbial camels back.

There was silence in the Watson residence for a full 5 minutes, before a piano started playing and John's rage constricted voice started to sing.

**King of Anything - Sara Bareilles**

_ Oh (oh oh oh)_  
><em> Oh (oh oh oh)<em>  
><em> Oh (oh oh oh)<em>  
><em> Oh (oh oh oh)<em>

_ Keep drinkin' coffee_  
><em> Stare me down across the table<em>  
><em> While I look outside<em>

_ So many things I'd say if only I were able_  
><em> But I just keep quiet<em>  
><em> And count the cars that pass by<em>

_ You've got opinions, man_  
><em> We're all entitled to 'em<em>  
><em> But I never asked<em>

_ So let me thank you for time_  
><em> And try to not waste any more of mine<em>  
><em> Get out of here fast<em>

_ I hate to break it to you babe_  
><em> But I'm not drowning<em>  
><em> There's no one here to save<em>

_ Who cares if you disagree_  
><em> You are not me<em>  
><em> Who made you king of anything<em>  
><em> So you dare tell me who to be<em>  
><em> Who died<em>  
><em> And made you king of anything<em>

_ Oh (oh oh oh)_  
><em> Oh (oh oh oh)<em>  
><em> Oh (oh oh oh)<em>  
><em> Oh (oh oh oh)<em>

_ You sound so innocent_  
><em> All full of good intent<em>  
><em> You swear you know best<em>

_ But you expect me to_  
><em> Jump up on board with you<em>  
><em> Ride off into your dellusional sunset<em>

_ I'm not the one who's lost_  
><em> With no direction, oh<em>  
><em> But you won't ever see<em>

_ You're so busy makin' maps_  
><em> With my name on them in all caps<em>  
><em> You got the talkin' down just not the listening<em>

_ And who cares if you disagree_  
><em> You are not me<em>  
><em> Who made you king of anything<em>  
><em> So you dare tell me who to be<em>  
><em> Who died<em>  
><em> And made you king of anything<em>

_ All my life_  
><em> I've tried<em>  
><em> To make everybody happy while I<em>  
><em> Just hurt<em>  
><em> And hide<em>  
><em> Waitin' for someone to tell me it's my turn<em>  
><em> To decide<em>

_ Oh (oh oh oh)_  
><em> Oh (oh oh oh)<em>  
><em> Oh (oh oh oh)<em>  
><em> Oh (oh oh oh)<em>

_ Who cares if you disagree_  
><em> You are not me<em>  
><em> Who made you king of anything<em>  
><em> So you dare tell me who to be<em>  
><em> Who died<em>  
><em> And made you king of anything<em>

_ Who cares if you disagree_  
><em> You are not me<em>  
><em> Who made you king of anything<em>  
><em> So you dare tell me who to be<em>  
><em> Who died<em>  
><em> And made you king of anything<em>

_ Let me hold your crown, babe_

John Watson furiously made his way to his room before he collapsed.

* * *

><p>When John joined the army, during the long years he was fighting in war zones, not one song spilled from his lips.<p>

The buzz from releasing everything was replaced by the buzz of danger, life-threatening situations and excitement.

And he absolutely _adored_ it.

* * *

><p>When John was discharged from the army, marked by a bullet-wound and a limp that shouldn't exist, he was miserable.<p>

One day, after staring at his gun for a full half hour, he finally acknowledged defeat.

Nothing happened to him, so the silence that filled the flat for 5 minutes was no different to the choking, restricting silence that inhabited the flat normally.

**So Far Away - New Empire**

_Looking out your window_  
><em>Summer's feeling colder than you remember<em>  
><em>So cold outside<em>

_And under sheets, you're safe now_  
><em>You try to reach your head but you don't feel it<em>  
><em>Through all the tears and sounds<em>

_So then you go and hide away_  
><em>You're all alone and that's OK<em>  
><em>The world outside can see you now<em>  
><em>You try to fight, just try to fight it<em>  
><em>Try to fight it<em>

_And colours fade to black and white_  
><em>The sun it hits your skin but you don't feel it<em>  
><em>It's all a memory<em>

_Deep inside, tears flow_  
><em>Your friends are by and call, but you don't hear them<em>  
><em>They're all so far away<em>

_So then you go and hide away_  
><em>You're all alone and that's OK<em>  
><em>The world outside can see you now<em>  
><em>You try to fight, just try to fight it...<em>

_So then you go and hide away_  
><em>You're all alone and that's OK<em>  
><em>The world outside can see you now<em>  
><em>You try to fight...<em>  
><em>Just hold on, now<em>  
><em>Just hold on, now<em>  
><em>Hold on<em>  
><em>Just hold on<em>  
><em>Hold on, now<em>

When John collapsed on his bed, he was almost grateful for his powers providing a simply, if unreliable, way to escape the horrible nothingness.

* * *

><p>The morning of the most unbelievable day of his life, or the day one John Watson met one Sherlock Holmes, John felt good for the first time since he had come back from the war.<p>

Really good.

He caught himself tapping out a rhythm against his laptop while trying to write something..._anything_...on his blog and realized that the flat was now completely silent.

He had a really good feeling about that night.

A _really _good feeling.

**I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas**

_I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night_  
><em>That tonight's gonna be a good night<em>  
><em>That tonight's gonna be a good good night<em>

_Tonight's the night_  
><em>Let's live it up<em>  
><em>I got my money<em>  
><em>Let's spend it up<em>

_Go out and smash it_  
><em>Like Oh My God<em>  
><em>Jump off that sofa<em>  
><em>Let's get get OFF<em>

_I know that we'll have a ball_  
><em>If we get down<em>  
><em>And go out<em>  
><em>And just loose it all<em>

_I feel stressed out_  
><em>I wanna let it go<em>  
><em>Lets go way out spaced out<em>  
><em>And loosing all control<em>

_Fill up my cup_  
><em>Mozoltov<em>  
><em>Look at her dancing<em>  
><em>Just take it off<em>

_Let's paint the town_  
><em>We'll shut it down<em>  
><em>Let's burn the roof<em>  
><em>And then we'll do it again<em>

_Let's do it, let's do it,_  
><em>Let's do it,<em>  
><em>Let's do it, and do it, and do it,<em>  
><em>Let's live it up<em>  
><em>And do it, and do it, and do it, do it, do it,<em>  
><em>Let's do it,<em>  
><em>Let's do it,<em>  
><em>Let's do it<em>  
><em>Cause<em>  
><em>I gotta feeling (ooooo hoooo) that tonight's gonna be a good night<em>  
><em>That tonight's gonna be a good night<em>  
><em>That tonight's gonna be a good good night<em>

_Tonight's the night (Hey!)_  
><em>Let's live it up (Let's live it up)<em>  
><em>I got my money (I'm paid)<em>  
><em>Let's spend it up (Let's spend it up)<em>

_Go out and smash it (Smash it)_  
><em>Like Oh My God (Like Oh My God)<em>  
><em>Jump off that sofa (C'mon)<em>  
><em>Let's get get OFF<em>

_Fill up my cup (Drank)_  
><em>Mozoltov (La' Chaim)<em>  
><em>Look at her dancing (Move it Move it)<em>  
><em>Just take it off<em>

_Let's paint the town (paint the town)_  
><em>We'll shut it down (Shut it down)<em>  
><em>Let's burn the roof<em>  
><em>And then we'll do it again<em>

_Let's do it, let's do it,_  
><em>Let's do it,<em>  
><em>Let's do it, and do it, and do it,<em>  
><em>Let's live it up<em>  
><em>And do it, and do it, and do it, do it, do it,<em>  
><em>Let's do it,<em>  
><em>Let's do it,<em>  
><em>Let's do it, do it, do it, do it<em>

_Here we come_  
><em>Here we go<em>  
><em>We gotta rock (rock,rock,rock,rock)<em>

_Easy come_  
><em>Easy go<em>  
><em>Now we on top (top,top,top,top)<em>

_Feel the shot_  
><em>Body rock<em>  
><em>Rock it don't stop (stop,stop,stop,stop)<em>

_Round and round_  
><em>Up and down<em>  
><em>Around the clock (clock,clock,clock,clock)<em>

_Monday, Tuesday,_  
><em>Wednesday, and Thursday<em>  
><em>Friday, Saturday<em>  
><em>Saturday to Sunday<em>

_Get get get get get with us_  
><em>You know what we say<em>  
><em>Party every day<em>  
><em>Pa pa pa Party every day<em>

_And I'm feelin (ooooo hoooo)_  
><em>That tonight's gonna be a good night<em>  
><em>That tonight's gonna be a good night<em>  
><em>That tonight's gonna be a good good night<em>

_I gotta feeling (oooooo hoooo) that tonight's gonna be a good night_  
><em>That tonight's gonna be a good night<em>  
><em>That tonight's gonna be a good good night<em>

_Ooooooo hooooo_

It wasn't until he had woken up again that he decided to talk the detour through the park after his therapist appointment.

* * *

><p>The first time it happened when he was flatmate's with Sherlock Holmes was quite unintentional.<p>

To be fair, he had been extremely bored at the time. Sherlock was not the only one who got bored.

His flatmate was lounging on the couch, complaining about how dull everything and everyone was, how life in general was tedious and stupid and dull.

And John? Well he was bored too, but the sneaky part of his brain that he was not sure he could actually control had a remedy for that.

Too bad it wasn't in English.

The silence was ignored by Sherlock, but upon Italian spewing out of his now dancing flatmates mouth, he simply turned to watch and raised an eyebrow questioningly.

**We Speak No Americano - Yolanda Be Cool and DCup**

_Comme te po' capì chi te vò bene_  
><em> si tu le parle 'mmiezzo americano?<em>  
><em> Quando se fa l'ammore sotto 'a luna<em>  
><em> come te vene 'capa e di: "I love you!"<em>

_ Pa pa l' americano_  
><em> Pa pa l' americano<em>  
><em> Pa pa l' americano<em>

_ fa l' americano!_

_ Pa pa l' americano_  
><em> Fa fa l' americano<em>

_ whïsky soda e rockenroll_  
><em> whïsky soda e rockenroll<em>  
><em> whïsky soda e rockenroll…<em>

When the music stopped after a long time of simply the pulsing beat without lyrics and John passed out on the floor by the coffee table, Sherlock simply rolled over and went back to his inner monologue of how dreary everything was.

And honestly, if John was going to do something like that again, he could do it more _quietly_ next time.

* * *

><p>The second time it happened, was in front of the Scotland Yard at a crime scene.<p>

In front of Lestrade, Donovan and even...Anderson.

Really, Sherlock mused, he didn't know why John had reacted as he did.

It was_ important_ and a date with Sarah at some dance place was hardly something he would care to remember.

And John was going to need a new mobile phone, since he had chucked his into the Thames.

John had practically marched out of the cab and addressed Sherlock with such annoyance that he was sure the man would start oozing it out of his ears soon.

"Honestly, can you just not call me constantly? It's bad enough when you text, but I was in the middle of a DATE Sherlock!"

Upon yelling the last few words at his flatmate, John suddenly tensed up.

There was silence for 5 seconds as every eye on the police force, Sherlock included, turned to stare rather confusedly at John Watson.

Eye's glowing golden yellow, he stared singing.

**Telephone - Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce**

_Hello, hello, baby;_  
><em> You called, I can't hear a thing.<em>  
><em> I have got no service<em>  
><em> in the club, you see, see…<em>  
><em> Wha-Wha-What did you say?<em>  
><em> Oh, you're breaking up on me…<em>  
><em> Sorry, I cannot hear you,<em>  
><em> I'm kinda busy.<em>

_ K-kinda busy_  
><em> K-kinda busy<em>  
><em> Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy.<em>

_ Just a second,_  
><em> it's my favorite song they're gonna play<em>  
><em> And I cannot text you with<em>  
><em> a drink in my hand, eh…<em>  
><em> You shoulda made some plans with me,<em>  
><em> you knew that I was free.<em>  
><em> And now you won't stop calling me;<em>  
><em> I'm kinda busy.<em>

_ Stop callin', stop callin',_  
><em> I don't wanna think anymore!<em>  
><em> I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.<em>  
><em> Stop callin', stop callin',<em>  
><em> I don't wanna talk anymore!<em>  
><em> I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.<em>

_ Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…_  
><em> Stop telephonin' me!<em>  
><em> Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…<em>  
><em> I'm busy!<em>  
><em> Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…<em>  
><em> Stop telephonin' me!<em>  
><em> Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…<em>

_ Can call all you want,_  
><em> but there's no one home,<em>  
><em> and you're not gonna reach my telephone!<em>  
><em> Out in the club,<em>  
><em> and I'm sippin' that bub,<em>  
><em> and you're not gonna reach my telephone!<em>

_ Call when you want,_  
><em> but there's no one home,<em>  
><em> and you're not gonna reach my telephone!<em>  
><em> Out in the club,<em>  
><em> and I'm sippin' that bub,<em>  
><em> and you're not gonna reach my telephone!<em>

_ Boy, the way you blowin' up my phone_  
><em> won't make me leave no faster.<em>  
><em> Put my coat on faster,<em>  
><em> leave my girls no faster.<em>  
><em> I shoulda left my phone at home,<em>  
><em> 'cause this is a disaster!<em>  
><em> Callin' like a collector -<em>  
><em> sorry, I cannot answer!<em>

_ Not that I don't like you,_  
><em> I'm just at a party.<em>  
><em> And I am sick and tired<em>  
><em> of my phone r-ringing.<em>

_ Sometimes I feel like_  
><em> I live in Grand Central Station.<em>  
><em> Tonight I'm not takin' no calls,<em>  
><em> 'cause I'll be dancin'.<em>

_ 'Cause I'll be dancin'_  
><em> 'Cause I'll be dancin'<em>  
><em> Tonight I'm not takin' no calls, 'cause I'll be dancin'!<em>

_ Stop callin', stop callin',_  
><em> I don't wanna think anymore!<em>  
><em> I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.<em>  
><em> Stop callin', stop callin',<em>  
><em> I don't wanna talk anymore!<em>  
><em> I left my hand and my heart on the dance floor.<em>

_ Stop callin', stop callin',_  
><em> I don't wanna think anymore!<em>  
><em> I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.<em>  
><em> Stop callin', stop callin',<em>  
><em> I don't wanna talk anymore!<em>  
><em> I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.<em>

_ Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…_  
><em> Stop telephonin' me!<em>  
><em> Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…<em>  
><em> I'm busy!<em>  
><em> Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…<em>  
><em> Stop telephonin' me!<em>  
><em> Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…<em>

_ Can call all you want,_  
><em> but there's no one home,<em>  
><em> you're not gonna reach my telephone!<em>  
><em> 'Cause I'm out in the club,<em>  
><em> and I'm sippin' that bub,<em>  
><em> and you're not gonna reach my telephone!<em>

_ Call when you want,_  
><em> but there's no one home,<em>  
><em> and you're not gonna reach my telephone!<em>  
><em> 'Cause I'm out in the club,<em>  
><em> and I'm sippin' that bub,<em>  
><em> and you're not gonna reach my telephone!<em>

_ My telephone!_  
><em> M-m-my telephone!<em>  
><em> 'Cause I'm out in the club,<em>  
><em> and I'm sippin' that bub,<em>  
><em> and you're not gonna reach my telephone!<em>

_ My telephone!_  
><em> M-m-my telephone!<em>  
><em> 'Cause I'm out in the club,<em>  
><em> and I'm sippin' that bub,<em>  
><em> and you're not gonna reach my telephone!<em>

_ We're sorry… the number you have reached is not in service at this time._  
><em> Please check the number, or try your call again. <em>

Sherlock would like to point out that he had already taken quite a few of his calls and John was now passed out very closely to the victim, so therefore the lyrics were rather incorrect, but of course he didn't say this.

He could buy John a new phone using Mycroft's credit card after he had dragged the man home. Lying next to a cadaver would not be particularly pleasant, considering its mutilated state.

No one said a word as Sherlock left in a taxi with his unconscious flatmate.

The incident became the number one topic in the Scotland Yard in under ten minutes.

* * *

><p>John woke very uncomfortably on the couch with no idea how he got there. The last thing he could recall was that he had been telling Sherlock off for ringing him so often on his phone.<p>

_Ugh, I'm going to need a new phone._

He was just about to get up and go to bed, it was 3 in the morning, when he noticed Sherlock sitting in the armchair he had claimed and staring unnervingly at John.

"What?"

No answer.

"What is it?"

No answer.

A sigh.

"Fine, if you're going to stare just stare at me, I'm going to bed."

He grumbled as he started to rise off of the couch.

Sherlock was muttering to himself and John only could catch snatches of his quiet words before he was out of range.

"...obviously...doesn't rememeber...probably...songs...he knows...pop culture...selected randomly...best...don't mention..."

He put it out of his mind as he fell onto his bed, exhaustion pulling him under quickly.

* * *

><p>The Great Sherlock Holmes had failed.<p>

He had gotten it wrong and a child had died.

The Scotland Yard pounced on the chance to tease and mock his shortcoming. Subtle barbs were being constantly thrown frequently, but more often than not their words were laced outright with venom and poison.

They hated him.

And he hated himself too.

No matter how much he denied it, he _cared._

John was the one who had discovered him, lying in the bathroom bleeding on the floor from slit wrists and high off of his face.

He woke to unearthly silence and John sitting across from him in a hospital chair.

As soon as John saw he was awake, silence filled the air for 5 minutes and golden eyes tearfully regarded him and took his hand gently.

**F***in' Perfect (Clean edit) - P!NK**

_Made a wrong turn_  
><em>Once or twice<em>  
><em>Dug my way out<em>  
><em>Blood and fire<em>  
><em>Bad decisions<em>  
><em>That's alright<em>  
><em>Welcome to my silly life<em>  
><em>Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood<em>  
><em>Miss "no way it's all good"<em>  
><em>It didn't slow me down<em>  
><em>Mistaken<em>  
><em>Always second guessing<em>  
><em>Underestimated<em>  
><em>Look, I'm still around...<em>

_Pretty, pretty please_  
><em>Don't you ever, ever feel<em>  
><em>Like your less than<em>  
><em>Less than perfect<em>  
><em>Pretty, pretty please<em>  
><em>If you ever, ever feel<em>  
><em>Like your nothing<em>  
><em>You're perfect to me<em>

_You're so mean_  
><em>When you talk<em>  
><em>About yourself<em>  
><em>You are wrong<em>  
><em>Change the voices<em>  
><em>In your head<em>  
><em>Make them like you<em>  
><em>Instead<em>  
><em>So complicated<em>  
><em>Look how big you'll make it<em>  
><em>Filled with so much hatred<em>

_Such a tired game_  
><em>It's enough<em>  
><em>I've done all I can think of<em>  
><em>Chased down all my demons<em>  
><em>See you same<em>

_Pretty, pretty please_  
><em>Don't you ever, ever feel<em>  
><em>Like your less than<em>  
><em>Less than perfect<em>  
><em>Pretty, pretty please<em>  
><em>If you ever, ever feel<em>  
><em>Like your nothing<em>  
><em>You're perfect to me<em>

_The whole world stares while I swallow the fear_  
><em>The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer<em>  
><em>So cool in lying and I tried tried<em>  
><em>But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time<em>  
><em>Done looking for the critics, 'cause they're everywhere<em>  
><em>They don't like my genes, they don't get my hair<em>  
><em>Strange ourselves and we do it all the time<em>  
><em>Why do we do that?<em>  
><em>Why do I do that?<em>  
><em>Why do I do that?<em>

_Ooh, pretty pretty pretty,_  
><em>Pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel<em>  
><em>Like you're less than, less than perfect<em>  
><em>Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel<em>  
><em>Like you're nothing, you're perfect to me<em>  
><em>You're perfect<em>  
><em>You're perfect<em>  
><em>Pretty, pretty please don't you ever ever feel like you're less than, less then perfect<em>  
><em>Pretty, pretty please if you ever ever feel like you're nothing you're perfect to me<em>

He may have passed out in his chair afterwards, but their hands were still clasped together until Sherlock left consciousness as well.

* * *

><p>They were undercover on the first case Sherlock had taken after he had been hospitalized.<p>

They were at a basketball game, Sherlock trying to search for the suspect in the crowds of fans and John trying (and failing) to contain his glee.

He _loved_ basketball.

As the silence descended on the stadium, every face turned to look at the strange man who was standing up out of his seat and had begun to sing at the top of his lungs. There was no booing, or yelling, simply total silence as he sang.

**Basketball - Lil Bow Wow**

_They're playing basketball_  
><em> We love that basketball<em>

_ Now basketball is my favorite sport_  
><em> I like the way they dribble up and down the court<em>  
><em> I keep it so fresh on the microphone<em>  
><em> I like no interruption when the game is on<em>  
><em> I like slam-dunks that take me to the hoop<em>  
><em> My favorite play is the alley-oop<em>  
><em> I like the pick-n-roll <em>  
><em> I like the give-n-go<em>  
><em> And its basketball Bow Wow lets go<em>

_ They're playing basketball_  
><em> We love that basketball<em>

_ I got the rock in my hands_  
><em> There ain't no tellin what i'm gonna do wit it<em>  
><em> When i got possession i'm gonna have to fool wit it<em>  
><em> I might cross you up and fake one way<em>  
><em> Turn around and hit you wit the MJ fade-away<em>  
><em> I throwin down passes like J-Kidd<em>  
><em> Taking cats to the rack<em>  
><em> And I'm dunkin over them like T-Mac<em>  
><em> When I'm in the paint I play wit that Alonzo style<em>  
><em> I'm like Darius cuz I can shoot 2 miles<em>

_ Don't too many players get offers like me_  
><em> I'm back-n-forth likely<em>  
><em> Shake the checks off your nikes<em>  
><em> They almost had me in a suit at the draft<em>  
><em> Cuz it look like a freethrow<em>  
><em> When I be shootin from half<em>  
><em> The first step like Iverson, blow pass you<em>  
><em> He'll leave nuthin but net, but I can go glass too<em>  
><em> When I'm in the paint the defense so shook<em>  
><em> They don't know if I'm gonna put up a slow hook or dish up a no-look<em>  
><em> See my game consist of whole lotta...<em>  
><em> Moves you would think I learned from the Harlem Globe Trotters<em>  
><em> JD gonna lead us to a ring<em>  
><em> Fab and Bow Wow is the only players that makes the cheerleaders wanna sing<em>

_They're playing basketball_  
><em> We love that basketball<em>

_ Now tell me were you in the joint_  
><em> The night MJ scored 63 points<em>  
><em> When the Lakers won titles back-to-back<em>  
><em> Didn't give nobody no kind of slack<em>  
><em> When Vince Carter came<em>  
><em> Stuck his arm in the rim<em>  
><em> Everbody went crazy in the whole damn gym<em>  
><em> Dikembe Mutumbo standing tall<em>  
><em> Playing D wit desire<em>  
><em> Its Basketball <em>

As John collapsed back into his seat, Sherlock was left with a whole stadium and even cameras trained on him.

The only people that hadn't seen the outburst were the basketball players.

With a very red blush on his cheeks Sherlock, with the aid of several security men, got John out of the basketball stadium before he could wake up and start singing again.

They were never going to a basketball game again._ Ever._

* * *

><p>It wasn't a very remarkable day.<p>

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon and Sherlock was riding off on the latest high from a solved case doing goodness-knows-what on his laptop.

John was watching TV.

Peace had descended on Baker St, leaving the occupants with a strong sense of contentment and _home_.

So when the sound on the TV suddenly cut out and Sherlock's rapid typing ceased to produce sound, Sherlock simply stopped what he was doing and observed his flatmate.

John was standing by the window with his hands on the window ledge.

Sherlock didn't need to see his eyes to know what colour they would be.

**Feeling Good - Michael Buble**

_Birds flying high_  
><em>You know how I feel<em>  
><em>Sun in the sky<em>  
><em>You know how I feel<em>  
><em>Breeze driftin' on by<em>  
><em>You know how I feel<em>  
><em>It's a new dawn<em>  
><em>It's a new day<em>  
><em>It's a new life<em>  
><em>For me<em>  
><em>And I'm feeling good, I'm feeling good<em>

_Fish in the sea_  
><em>You know how I feel<em>  
><em>River running free<em>  
><em>You know how I feel<em>  
><em>Blossom on the tree<em>  
><em>You know how I feel<em>  
><em>It's a new dawn<em>  
><em>It's a new day<em>  
><em>It's a new life<em>  
><em>For me<em>  
><em>And I'm feeling good<em>

_Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you know_  
><em>Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean<em>  
><em>Sleep in peace when the day is done, thats what I mean<em>  
><em>And this old world is a new world<em>  
><em>And a bold world<em>  
><em>For me, for me<em>

_Stars when you shine_  
><em>You know how I feel<em>  
><em>Scent of the pine<em>  
><em>You know how I feel<em>  
><em>Oh freedom is mine<em>  
><em>And I know how I feel<em>  
><em>It's a new dawn<em>  
><em>It's a new day<em>  
><em>It's a new life<em>  
><em>It's a new dawn<em>  
><em>It's a new day<em>  
><em>It's a new life<em>  
><em>It's a new dawn<em>  
><em>It's a new day<em>  
><em>It's a new life<em>  
><em>It's a new life<em>  
><em>For me<em>

_And I'm feeling good_  
><em>I'm feeling good<em>  
><em>I feel so good<em>  
><em>I feel so good<em>

As John's body it the floor, Sherlock mused on the thought that he actually understood what John meant about feeling good.

He had just solved a rather interesting case and had just received another.

Life was looking up_  
><em>

**Ha Ha, this was SO fun to write! I was laughing so much during this, hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I have writing it. If you did, please review. If you hate it and are sharpening your pitchforks and lighting your torches as you read this, feel free to review and tell me anyway before you storm my house.**

**Songs I really, really, _really_ wanted to do but didn't make the cut:**

**Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO**

**Turn Around - Flo Rida**

**Yeah 3x - Chris Brown**

**I Bruise Easily - Natasha Bedingfield**_  
><em>


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